PULLING RABBITS OUT OF HATS  (see below for full version)
Very loosely inspired by a spoonerism of the title, i.e. 'pulling habits out of rats'.
"...Loose rafters and shifty seamstresses, collapsing apses and matching head-dresses..."

Nonsensical and semi-sensical tongue twisters.
"...Do you doodle by dawdling when drawing
  Dawdle by doodling when walking
  The way a wren warbles by wobbling when whistling..."

Pulling Rabbits out of Hats

Masterful fastenings and classy claspings
Catching latches and lasting attachments.
It’s a matter of substance, a clatter of subsidence
A hatter of consequence, an architect of incompetence.

It’s a matter of pulling habits out of rats
Tomtits out of top hats
Of losing handkerchieves up sleeves,
Of sewing garments onto patches.

A matter of pulling rabbits out of hutches
Getting clutter out of clutches
Buttressing a building with crutches
Hattening the batches
And stitching up the gutters.

Blasted clasps and clinging hinges
Snapping gadgets and passing detachments;
Loose rafters and shifty seamstresses
Collapsing apses and matching head-dresses.
It’s a matter of tampering with distortions,
Fidgeting with digits
And making fritters out of fortunes.

A matter of matters outstanding and matters arising
Of the latter crescending and clatter subsiding
A matter of tearing the tat to tatters
A matter of wondering, what all the matter is?


None of the above is true.

The phrase ‘Masterful Fastenings’ was however observed on the frontage of an
architectural ironmongery shop near Brent Cross.

© Germander Speedwell 2005

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